I’m turning 50 next month. All year long my high school friends and I are passing this milestone one by one. It seems like a bigger deal than turning 30 or 40. I’m not sure why. I suppose part of it is that realistically I have to face the fact that my life is half over. Statistically that was also true at 40, but of course I’m confident that I’ll live longer than average. We're all above average, right? It’s hard to convince yourself you’ll live much beyond 100.
So to honor the occasion I am making a list of the signs I’m turning 50. I’m starting now so I have time to add things to my list before the big day comes. Fellow classmates of 1982, what would you add to the list?
Signs I’m 50:
1 - I can’t sit for extended periods of time with my legs curled up underneath me and then jump up and walk with out limping for several steps
2 - I’ve had medical procedures done for things resulting not from disease but from wear and tear.
3 - I’ve lived long enough to not be impressed by the latest diet fad - I remember when calories were all that counted, fats should be avoided like the plague, and salt was the root of all evil. So pardon me if I don’t jump on the cave man diet. I’ll sit this one out.
4 - When I’m out with my grandchildren no one mistakes them for my children. They correctly assume they are my grandchildren. This really hurt my feelings the first time it happened.
5 - People add “for your age” to compliments. Example: You are in great shape for your age. Um. Thanks.
6 - Oldies channels play songs that aren’t oldies to me. Some of them came out way after I graduated from school.
7 - I’ve lived enough of life to value mercy more than justice. I need mercy.
8 - Let’s just say my skin has lost some of its elasticity. This in spite of the fact that I hopped on the sunscreen bandwagon early in life.
9 - My daughter told me her friend said I was “adorable”. How quaint.
10 - I’ve switched from wondering if I can afford to eat at a given restaurant to wondering if my digestive system can handle a given restaurant.
